Comments on: Rethinking Discipline http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/ Sun, 05 Feb 2012 11:02:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: cynthia http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/comment-page-1/#comment-162 cynthia Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:29:00 +0000 http://www.emergingparents.com/?p=20#comment-162 This is good stuff. My thoughts:<br/>1. You ask if we consider children worthy of respect and dignity or as lesser citizens in the kingdom of God. I know that despite Jesus clear compassion and acceptance of children, I did not consider my children worthy of respect and dignity. They were mine to mold and to make into "godly adults" Oh my goodness! It sounds horrible when I really say it but that was my attitude. When I gave up trying to mold them, when I gave up viewing them as my ministry ...as a project .... and just began loving them, all things changed in our home. I stopped applying JUST the verses that dealt with parents and children and started applying the whole of scripture ... about considering others as more important than yourselves ... that was a RADICAL thought ... to consider my children as more important than we, the parents. about forgiving them ... not holding their wrongdoing against them. Applying radical mercy and grace. It's been a beautiful trip!<br/><br/>2.re: that discipline is not about controlling outward behavior. AMEN! that was my misconception to begin with. Now, for instance, we are having a problem with my 8 yos using hurtful language when he is angry with his brothers ....hurtful and inappropriate. I could punish him enough that he would not say those things aloud again BUT his heart would still be bitter toward his brothers. Instead, we are teaching him to identify his anger, why and work through conflict resolution with his brothers. It's a longer process and on the outside looks like we are tolerating wrong behavior ... No, we are more concerned with what is going on in his heart.<br/><br/>Looking forward to the continued conversations here. I began my first blog years ago to talk about graceful parenting/gentle parenting/ positive parenting. I haven't written about it much lately but in recent months, a lot of questions have been thrown my way. Maybe I should start writing more about it there. This is good stuff. My thoughts:
1. You ask if we consider children worthy of respect and dignity or as lesser citizens in the kingdom of God. I know that despite Jesus clear compassion and acceptance of children, I did not consider my children worthy of respect and dignity. They were mine to mold and to make into “godly adults” Oh my goodness! It sounds horrible when I really say it but that was my attitude. When I gave up trying to mold them, when I gave up viewing them as my ministry …as a project …. and just began loving them, all things changed in our home. I stopped applying JUST the verses that dealt with parents and children and started applying the whole of scripture … about considering others as more important than yourselves … that was a RADICAL thought … to consider my children as more important than we, the parents. about forgiving them … not holding their wrongdoing against them. Applying radical mercy and grace. It’s been a beautiful trip!

2.re: that discipline is not about controlling outward behavior. AMEN! that was my misconception to begin with. Now, for instance, we are having a problem with my 8 yos using hurtful language when he is angry with his brothers ….hurtful and inappropriate. I could punish him enough that he would not say those things aloud again BUT his heart would still be bitter toward his brothers. Instead, we are teaching him to identify his anger, why and work through conflict resolution with his brothers. It’s a longer process and on the outside looks like we are tolerating wrong behavior … No, we are more concerned with what is going on in his heart.

Looking forward to the continued conversations here. I began my first blog years ago to talk about graceful parenting/gentle parenting/ positive parenting. I haven’t written about it much lately but in recent months, a lot of questions have been thrown my way. Maybe I should start writing more about it there.

]]> By: Arizona Bam http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/comment-page-1/#comment-153 Arizona Bam Sun, 18 Nov 2007 21:32:00 +0000 http://www.emergingparents.com/?p=20#comment-153 Thanks, Sarah. My <a HREF="http://tbams.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">wife</a> and I are really jiving with what you've written here. We're going to pick up Unconditional Parenting soon, and we'd also love for you to do another post expanding on your practical application of these concepts. Coming from a fairly fundamental background myself, I'm finding it difficult to separate out my past as my wife and I plan for our future with our six-month old daughter. Thanks, Sarah. My wife and I are really jiving with what you’ve written here. We’re going to pick up Unconditional Parenting soon, and we’d also love for you to do another post expanding on your practical application of these concepts. Coming from a fairly fundamental background myself, I’m finding it difficult to separate out my past as my wife and I plan for our future with our six-month old daughter.

]]> By: Sarah-Ji http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/comment-page-1/#comment-152 Sarah-Ji Sun, 18 Nov 2007 03:02:00 +0000 http://www.emergingparents.com/?p=20#comment-152 Hi, folks--<br/><br/>Glad you like the post. Much of it is the result of the ideas I've been exposed to in the books Unconditional Parenting and Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, both of which are in the <a HREF="http://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Parents-Recommended-Reading/lm/R1V31SEXNWD100/ref=cm_rna_own_lm/103-1270982-6627063" REL="nofollow">Recommended Reading List</a>.<br/><br/>While reading Brian McLaren's Secret Message of Jesus book, I realized how the ideas I had garnered about parenting from those books were compatible w/ the message of Jesus.<br/><br/>I think I'll write another post w/ some practical examples and applications. Hi, folks–

Glad you like the post. Much of it is the result of the ideas I’ve been exposed to in the books Unconditional Parenting and Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, both of which are in the Recommended Reading List.

While reading Brian McLaren’s Secret Message of Jesus book, I realized how the ideas I had garnered about parenting from those books were compatible w/ the message of Jesus.

I think I’ll write another post w/ some practical examples and applications.

]]> By: Jemila Kwon http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/comment-page-1/#comment-151 Jemila Kwon Sat, 17 Nov 2007 23:31:00 +0000 http://www.emergingparents.com/?p=20#comment-151 Beautifully put. I would love to hear examples too! We learn by stories :) Beautifully put. I would love to hear examples too! We learn by stories :)

]]> By: Jeff http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/comment-page-1/#comment-150 Jeff Sat, 17 Nov 2007 22:04:00 +0000 http://www.emergingparents.com/?p=20#comment-150 I like what you are saying. I think a few examples of how you have applied points 3 and 4 would help. Something to help me (others) brainstorm on ways to apply the concepts. I like what you are saying. I think a few examples of how you have applied points 3 and 4 would help. Something to help me (others) brainstorm on ways to apply the concepts.

]]> By: Brooke http://www.emergingparents.com/2007/11/rethinking-discipline/comment-page-1/#comment-149 Brooke Sat, 17 Nov 2007 01:34:00 +0000 http://www.emergingparents.com/?p=20#comment-149 This is really, really good. Thank you for posting! This is really, really good. Thank you for posting!

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