I recently cam across an article by Bryan Welch called Parenting Makes Environmentalism Personal. In it he writes -
Before I had children, I felt I had engineered a secure little world for myself. I lived in a nice place. I had a few nice hobbies. My work was interesting. I could avoid, for the most part, the parts of our world I found unpleasant. I could ignore people whose lives were not as privileged as mine. I could ignore any problem that wouldn’t reach global proportions for, say, the next 70 years or so. I could insulate my little corner of the universe.
Then, suddenly, I was connected to every part of the world, both present and future.
This was, for me, the big wake-up call. Our children — all the children we love, not only our own — connect us to the future. The world is no longer bounded by our awareness. The future is of immediate concern. Not just the future our children will experience, but the future their children will experience, and so on, and so on.
It gets personal all of a sudden.
My initial reaction was to simply agree with him. Of course caring for our kids means we care about the world they will be living in. But then as I thought about it, I realized that it isn’t always that clear cut. Often when we have kids we get so consumed in the moment that we put up blinders to anything outside of ourselves. We stop caring about others and focus on the needs on the moment. This may mean we stop volunteering or donating to charity because we just don’t have the time or money. It may mean we dump more trash into the environment because, let’s face it, it’s easier to use paper plates than to wash dishes. Or we save money by buying sweatshop produced clothing. Our response to having kids can go both ways – increased compassion or increased (necessary) selfishness.
I know I struggle with looking outside of my own family. It is easy to just focus on us and forget the needs of others. Intellectually, I want the better world, but in the rush to make it out the door on time in the mornings, it’s hard to keep in all in balance.
Is this just me? Do others struggle with this? Has having kids changed the way you view things like environmentalism and changed the way you live?
July 31st, 2009 - 4:54 pm
I totally know where you are coming from. It’s funny, actually, I just blogged about this saying the opposite of what you’re quote is saying, not about environmentalism specifically but about following Jesus in a radical way with kids, because, you know, Jesus didn’t have any.
August 2nd, 2009 - 11:42 am
Jason, your post asks a great question and something I’ve been wondering lately too. somewhere in the midst of life and it all having children becomes a part of our ministry. I hate the old lines that a mom’s only calling is to care for her kids – but there is something to the fact that when people have kids they now have a responsibility to them that at times prevents them from getting involved in other areas of life. I can’t spend my days volunteering with my kiddos in tow – heck, I can hardly go buy groceries with both kids around. I want to involve my kids in service, but some things are just out of reach at this time. At the same time I had a man tell me recently that he doesn’t think any kid should be exposed to the innercity until the graduate high school since they aren’t emotionally ready to deal with poverty. I felt sorry for his daughter in her all white gated community sheltered from any form or reality. Its a strange balance to discover.
August 7th, 2009 - 5:22 pm
I hear you and have the same struggle sometimes. On one hand, I want to change the trajectory this society has set for the sake of my kids… at the same time, sometimes I feel too tired and cranky to wash out a plastic container of moldy yogurt.
Really, though, I don’t know whether those values would have been absent from my life without kids. I don’t just care about this planet because of my own children, but because we all have to live here. What does make a difference is that I’m necessarily conscious of the impact of my behaviour on shaping their values… so I’m more likely to wash out the friggin’ moldy yogurt container so that it can go into the recycling, and maybe be more careful not to waste food in the first place.
August 12th, 2009 - 8:09 am
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. For us, our economic circumstances changed greatly when our daughter was born. Since my work could barely pay for childcare, it made sense for me to stay home, but we had to adjust our lifestyle. I’m very glad of that as my daughter gets older. It’s forced us to curb our materialism, plan ahead better and waste less. Food, Gasoline, Energy, and Money. Still, there are nights when I’m tired and we pay three times what it would have cost me to cook something for take out. If the dishwasher’s already full we may even eat it off paper plates!
August 19th, 2009 - 1:11 pm
I struggle with this, and relatedly, about my work/career choices, almost daily. Good to see that I’m not alone. I wish there were easy answers, but then there never are. I think being aware of the issues has to count for something, right??
Keep up the great work the blog. You always make me think.
May 3rd, 2011 - 4:07 am
Hello! I’ve been following your site for a while now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Tx! Just wanted to say keep up the good job!
May 19th, 2011 - 7:40 am
Wow this is a great resource.. Im enjoying it.. good article
June 4th, 2012 - 1:53 pm
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